I’ve been trying to write about this topic for weeks now, for some reason I can’t seem to get my thoughts straight. I want to talk about the stigma that being vulnerable carries, and why its total bullshit.
To be vulnerable in our society is a sign of weakness, failure, and generally preserved for women. This feeling is something I’ve become closer to in the recent weeks, and I want to say that the general opinion of being vulnerable- is wrong. It takes a lot of strength and courage to allow yourself to be vulnerable. You need to be able to admit that you may not be in a state that you wish you were in this moment.
I’ve been trying to be more open and honest first and foremost with myself and second with the people around me. Sharing parts of myself that I wouldn’t normally has played a huge roll in my life lately. I’ve been really surprised and touched by the responses that I’ve gotten from people when I take a chance and trust them with my thoughts and feelings. It starts with small things, telling someone when I’m sad- and explaining why. Admitting that I’m lonely- and that I’m not sure how to deal with that. Asking someone what’s going on with them- and letting them know I feel like maybe It was me that did something wrong.
None of these conversations are easy to have. Any conversation that involve showing a moment of weakness is hard. I don’t even like describing these as moments of weakness because its not! Its fucking human. Every single person has thoughts that are rooted by “Am I good enough?” “I feel stupid” “I should be better” “What will they think of me” “It’s not their problem”. Building relationships takes work, Intentional work. Keeping relationships, takes work. That has to start with you. Its not easy to feel like you are always the one reaching out and going the extra mile. It will not be this way forever. Once you establish trust and communication things flow much more organically and the relationship takes a lot less effort to maintain.
Its a pretty amazing feeling too when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, put yourself out there and someone meets you in that place. The support, trust, and love that you receive can be a remedy in itself. Sometimes things don’t even need to be “fixed” but letting someone else know that you’re struggling and not sitting alone with the weight is all the fixing you need.
Speaking to men–hell and women, there is nothing more attractive than a person who is confident enough in themselves to be able and willing to talk about their mind. The fact that you’re aware of and working on your mind is something that is far too rare. Self care is so important, and even sexy. I don’t think there is anything weak about mental health in any stage as long as you’re continuously pursuing a path to better understand your mind. Men and women alike fall in love, get hurt, feel broken. We worry, and obsess over things we shouldn’t. We get nervous and self conscious, shy away from situations. And that’s OKAY. We are human. If anyone thinks less of you for any of that, they aren’t ready for you.
whoscaitlin 